I love Tiger Woods! The man has made his mistakes…he’s paying for them and in the end it will all come out in the wash as an epic tale of snatching victory out of the jaws of defeat…you just watch.
I wanted to do something with this cartoon that you may never see; a huge corporation turning itself upside down for someone that is a symbol of both victory and defeat. Sure, Coke changed its formula and created the worst marketing decision of all time, but in the process the corporation created a great story of triumph over stupidity. Nike should start its own brand of offshoot swoops for the discriminating, cheating golfing male that turns into a sad frown…they’d make millions…unlike Coke. They would show loyalty to the richest spokesperson of all time and reveal a sense of humour. Trust me…this wouldn’t be a Coke fiasco…well, maybe?
Tiger’s tale will be the same. He lived an incredibly stupid, duplicitous life, but if you could get a large portion of red-blooded males that lead boring, desperate lives to be honest…they’d probably jazz up their own sex lives with trifling trollops that just wanted to get it on, baby! My evidence would be the silliness of Wilt “The Stilt” Chamberlain who decided to come out of the bedroom and reveal the truth of his own boudoir and explain to the world that he’d shagged at least 10,000 women during the course of his superstar sports career.
Imagine if Nike actually started a line of footwear bearing the upside down swooshes…it would be hilarious. It would show loyalty to a man who just today has admitted his folly but could have gone the way of an O J Simpson and simply curled up into the foetal position and gone on to a long career in the jailhouse…not rocking…not golfing…not overcoming this huge public blemish that will forever define Tiger’s life.
America has always had heroes, and those heroes have almost always been brought down from the glorious heights that they’ve reached through hidden lifestyles resulting in death, paparazzi photos or financial failures. It’s capitalism at its best. Raise ‘em up and then bring them down.
If John F. Kennedy’s secret life was revealed who was in his bed? Bill Clinton had his Jennifer Flowers, oh, and that aid in the blue dress named Monica. Rock Hudson, Freddy Mercury and even Ed McMahon all came to sad ends, didn’t they?
Tiger Woods will return to the golf course after this six month glitch in his life and start to have fun again. He’ll return to Elin and raise his kids with joy and simplicity learning the lesson that every fantasizing nerd should ultimately learn. It’s not the sex that makes life exciting…it’s the sincerity you showed during difficult times that define the legacy you leave after you’re gone.
I’ve seen Tiger swing his clubs. That swing is its own special kind of swoosh that anyone who enjoys the game of golf would love to have for their own. Crouching Tiger will become a dragon that is not so hidden. Nike should make lots of money from the fire breathing we saw start today.